Meditation didn't work for you.
That's information, not failure.
Practices for when sitting still doesn't help
I began meditating because I didn't know what else to do. Thirty-some years later, I can tell you that closed eyes, silence, and following the breath suit some nervous systems and agitate others. I've been on both sides of that.
So I make short, plain practices with built-in choices. Eyes open or closed. Chair, floor, or standing at the sink. Breath, or something else to hold onto. You find what settles you, rather than what you were told should settle you.
Choices, always.
Eyes open or closed? Chair or floor? Breath or no breath? You pick, and you can change your mind halfway through.
Short by design.Three to ten minutes. Long enough to settle, short enough that you'll actually finish. (Your coffee will still be warm.)
Nothing to get right.Stopped early? Opened your eyes? Got up and walked around the kitchen? That's the practice, not a failure of it.
Nothing new-age.No Sanskrit, no jargon, no telling you what you're supposed to feel. I say what we're doing and why.
Start here.
Two practices to find out whether this way of working suits you. Both are free, both are short, and neither requires you to close your eyes.
Part of treating ourselves with compassion is accepting our practice for what it is — imperfect.
Practice with me, live.
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Settle.
Weekly • Tuesdays at 6 pm
Every Tuesday at 6 pm Pacific, on Insight Timer. Thirty minutes: a few minutes of chair or restorative movement, a settling practice, and a return to the room. A chair, a wall, and a blanket. That's it.
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Office hours.
First Wednesday of the month at 5 pm
Once a month, on the first Wednesday at 5 pm. Bring the question that's been bugging you about your practice. Why does sitting make me angry? Do I have to do it every day? Is it ok that I fall asleep? (Yes.)
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When meditation makes things worse.
10.21 7:00-8:00PM
A talk, [date]. Agitation, flooding, numbness, feeling unreal: what these are, why stillness and silence can bring them on, and what to change.
Who this is for.
You've tried the apps and quit.
You were told to close your eyes,
and it got louder in there.
You can't sit still,
or you can sit still,
but you leave your body to do it.
You've got ten minutes, not forty.
You're a clinician,
a nurse,
a firefighter,
a parent,
and you need something that works
between one hard thing and the next.
If that's you, welcome.
If it isn't, the practices still work;
they just won't fight you.
Hello, I’m Malcolm.
I'm a yoga teacher, an ordained Zen lay priest, and a clinical social worker in San Francisco. I've taught yoga in offices, in the snow, and while wearing SCUBA gear, and I've blundered my way through my fair share of meditation retreats. My clinical work is with veterans at a nonprofit in San Francisco, where I'm a Registered Associate Clinical Social Worker (#105191) and am supervised by a licensed clinician.
What you'll find here is education and practice, not treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to someone.
RYT 500 yoga teacher, trained with Jason Crandell and Judith Lasater
ordained Zen Buddhist lay priest, Hosshin-ji, 2017
Registered Associate Clinical Social Worker
Wilderness First Responder
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